I'll never get on with the plot at this rate....
posted by dh at 10:20 AM
Hi. I'm Dick. I made a few quid buying old houses off English pensioners and flogging them to people from Bangladesh. Then I built a load of er...'compact' villas in Spain and sold them to the English pensioners. Later I got into trading English football clubs among Russian oligarchs. After so much public service I decided it was time to do something nice for myself so I bought a bar in Pattaya. Then all the riff-raff discovered Thailand so I moved to the Caribbean and bought a boat. That's basically how I came to be a rich old alcoholic dickhead sailing aimlessly round the Caribbean with a crew of Thai girls. Until recently. Those days are gone. The girls all went to see the Barry Manilow Show in Las Vegas and never came back. They'd been exploiting me all along. I felt soiled. I took it as a wake up call, cancelled my old credit cards, tied up the boat in the Virgin Islands, and settled down to do some serious writing. Keeping a watchful eye on the sea level of course. OK, my name's Edith and I live in a retirement home near Eastbourne.
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